In a word–exhausting.
Let me explain…
I have to say that one of the most frequent questions that comes through my email inbox are from Josh’s fans. They all want to know, “what is it like being married to Josh Flagg?”
I want to start out by saying that in my house he is just Joshie boy or hubby, or Liza with a “z.” 🙂
I don’t think of him the way his fans do, which probably explains the look he gives me when I ask him to do normal things like take out the trash, or pour me a glass of wine after work. That being said, this blog is all for the JF fans and my own little tribute to my husband, who always keeps things interesting.
The Josh Flagg Experience
Josh challenges me in so many ways that no one else ever has before, which is one of the many reasons why I married him. He truly is one of my greatest teachers. I know that sounds cheesy, but hear me out. When you are married to someone who challenges you in many different ways, you can’t help but learn so much about yourself along the way.
Since we have such different personalities I have had to learn the art of practicing patience, and knowing when to compromise. Sometimes, I still agree to going out for the 6th night out in a row. These are just a few of the fundamental things I have learned in my marriage. Our experiences together have been some of the best times of my entire life.
I would be remiss if I didn’t admit that being married to Josh comes with some pretty nice perks as well. People take an interest in me, simply because of who my husband is. Now I’m not talking about being noticed on the street or being given the best table at a restaurant. I am talking about being able to make a difference. It helps me to feel heard and to have a voice in the world on topics I am passionate about.
A perfect example is Project Angel Food, an organization that helps to deliver food to people with serious illnesses, who could use a little extra care. Knowing that I can make an impact is a tremendous gift and something I am grateful for.
Whenever we go out, it seems like Josh has done business with someone before, or knows someone through a dinner party from the past. It can be a pretty surreal experience for a small-town kid from Pacifica to have some of the experiences that Josh and I do. A few months ago, Cindy Crawford walked into the restaurant we were eating at with her husband, Randy. Josh of course had to run over and give her a hug. I couldn’t believe he went up to her! He had never met her before in his life. Believe it or not, she used to cover my bedroom walls at one time. Josh’s confidence is something that I really admire about him. I would never have the guts to walk up to someone I didn’t really know at dinner and strike up a conversation.
Expect the Unexpected
Being married to Josh, I’ve found that the phrase “expect the unexpected” usually applies.
Josh may wake up and want to go on a mini-trip to another country. Or, he may want to go meet up with a friend for brunch time drinks at the Polo Lounge. You just really never know what you are going to get, which is why it is so exciting!
I mean being whisked away to unexpected foreign ports for impromptu vacations and mini-getaways are just examples of what it is like being married to Josh. All that travel can take its toll on you! But there’s no need to bust out the violins and cry a river for me.
I’m a homebody and like to lounge around on the sofa with a good movie or the newest episode of Dateline, some candles lit in the background, with the fireplace on, and my husband and our dog Trouble by my side. While I know this can sound very basic, for me this is total happiness. But for Josh, he wants to constantly be on the go!
Josh has an incredible way of making every day with me an adventure. You just never know what you are going to get with him, and it really can be such a pleasant surprise.
When most husbands wake up in the morning they have a to-do list on their desk. When the alarm goes off that’s what is going to happen for the day. A lot of realtors are pretty regimented and just stick to the plan. Josh loves to throw curveballs and use his intuition to guide his decision-making and it can be a bit of a ride at times. Luckily, I get to go on it with him.
The only difficulty is how determined and stubborn he can be once he has his sights set on what he wants.
While I’m sure his clients love that about him, it can be tough for us. However, I’ve yet to find anyone who would say that relationships are easy, and there are plenty of times where Josh is willing to compromise to make sure that we are both happy. We actually invested in going to therapy–not because we had problems, but because we are both a little Type A and wanted to learn how to best work out our compromises by putting the other person’s feelings first. It has made us so much stronger as a couple, but we are still always learning.
Up for a Challenge
Josh also challenges me to speak up and to speak my mind. He has really provided me with a platform to come out of my shell. We have spent countless hours discussing our ideas on real estate and the housing market, and how to be better in our industry.
Most of my friends accept what I say and are very understanding, Josh doesn’t just reciprocate what I want to hear. He pushes me to be the best version of myself, which is one of my favorite things about our marriage.
One of the things that I like most about our relationship is the fact that fans of the Bravo show write us fanmail about how we’ve inspired them to be more of who they are. As proud supporters of the younger generation of the LGBTQ community, it’s always really rewarding to hear people suggest that we are role models for them. Hearing that other people have felt that it’s possible for them to find love, based on our love is incredibly heartwarming.
One thing that I hope Josh has learned from this small town boy, is that you have to make every deal special. Creating an experience for your client is essential and I think he’s picked up on a few of the things that I do, just like how I’ve taken a few pages out of his playbook.
I think he’s learned how to connect with each and every client even if their personalities are the polar opposite of his. What people don’t know is that if Josh meets someone who has different personality traits than himself, he can sort of shut down and get very quiet because he isn’t sure how to navigate that conversation. It’s amazing to see him push himself out of his comfort zone and find a way to connect with everyone and for me, I find that very attractive.
I’ve watched him start to open up more, to feel a little more vulnerable, which has been a very attractive thing to watch as his husband. Watching him treat his clients like friends, also puts into perspective the work that we do as agents. Even though when we’ve done deals together, our styles are completely different, we both work hard, focus on the client, and get to bond over the experience.
One Thing that People Probably Don’t Know About Josh
Well there’s that time in Italy where we… and well, you probably don’t want to know about the time we had a few too many bottles of wine and…
Anyway–keeping it PG–most people probably wouldn’t guess that Josh is a really fantastic and talented skier.
I had actually never learned how to ski before because I was always so afraid of breaking a leg. When I would go on skiing trips with friends I would stay back at the cabin and make spiked hot chocolate and sit in the jacuzzi. So when Josh and I went out our first time together he had to show me the ropes. I’m pretty athletic so to watch someone who never grew up playing sports be so in command on the slopes was pretty incredible, and (more than a little sexy.)
I’ve tried to get him to go on runs with me, but even going hiking is out of Josh’s comfort zone. So instead of just sipping breakfast cocktails by the pool on vacay I love when we go skiing, because we get to be side by side kicking snow in each other’s faces.
Being active with my husband outdoors is something that really connected us, but I also really love just spending quality time with Josh. I especially love when we are doing something where one of us is out of our comfort zone. It keeps things exciting in our marriage. I’m sure some of you know that marriage can become very routine and stale at times, so finding ways where we see new sides of each other even after 4 years is something I really enjoy. It’s almost like dating all over again!
Whether it’s something silly like laying in bed all weekend binge watching crime dramas and eating junk food (which we frequently do), or flying half-way across the world to experience a new city together, I have had some incredible moments with my husband.
I know that I’m far from the only one who considers this man to be pretty amazing. Leave me a comment and let me know what your favorite Josh moment is! I can’t wait to read them all 🙂